Who knows when I’m lost And how I turned into ghost? There ‘s no hope to say ,or Is it easy to play? No much time to think But enough patience to wait.. Be with me or not I’ll be there on time! ** Who cares how I feel Can be fake or real. There ‘s no proof to show ,or Is it eligible to rely? No many words to say So, let’s come on a deal! Believe me or not I’ll be there , trust!
Who sees what I am And why I have to stay? There’s no reason to give,or Is it logical to brave? So many ways to go But too reckless to do.. Do me a favour or not I’ll be loath all time! ** Who listens what I say Can be truth or lie! There’s no must to satisfy, or Is it serious to care? So much time to think But no eager to speak. Give a hear or not I’ll stay silent to be right! ** Who decides which I need And what I ought to take? There’s nothing to have, or Is it necessary to heed? So many things to carry But I need to be free.. Get it for me or not I’ll be glad , all right!
Ego, jealousy, search for identity, depression, enlightenment, awareness are the inevitable senses and facts which create us throughout life. So, what kind of person we become at the beginning of the life and what we turn into afterwards? Do the people around us change us or we change our companions? Our roles are perhaps intertwined and intricate. Like each other’s mirrors or hazy glasses.
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** Initially, the family and country into which we born determine our destiny. Then, the choices we make form our life style, even before we haven’t known ourselves. Throughout life rush, our identity appears to us as a completely different from the road we started . Aftertimes, we realize that our jobs don’t fit us in real. The worst thing is that our life partners are so far from us! So,a despair covers us , and we squirm in exhaustion. Unfortunately , the monotonous days follow each other, and we start the same song: “ easy come easy go!” In this case, will we despair right now or face the reality? Will we say nothing will change and step aside? Our choices will indicate our actions, however we should keep in mind that everything we sweep under the carpet eventually comes out as a dust ball leaving us breathless! On that point, it’s time to ask these three questions:
– Who are we? – What do we live for? – Are we in the right place?
At first , giving the answers are not initial base. The main purpose is to be able to ask these questions sincerely. Are we in moods pushing us to this questioning or not? Do we end our days with exhaustion and go to beds restless internally? Are we still lack of something even though we have so much, and in a life which is full but truly aimless? So now, we are at a crossroad . We will continue this routine that drags us down day by day, or decide to change something? Maybe, it’s the fear of changing which keeps us away from taking action, because the unknown always scares us, and we insist on keeping the usual. In this case, we need to meet the new one! In order to embark on a new path, we must firstly make small changes. At first step, we will intend, then take a reaction. For example, starting a healthier eating habits will help us to feel energitic, thus going for a walk daily won’ t be hard for us. If we have no chance to walk, we will create some time for resting our minds during the day. Likewise, closing eyes and standing on a silent, peaceful place or moment will be our routine. Then, we will obtain a minimal life with less goods and possessions in our houses. Donating what is more than necessary will make us feel well. Maybe after, feeding animals outside and adopting one of them will get us to see the Earth through the completely different glasses. Reading good books and watching inspiring movies will be more attractive than being in crowd, furthermore having coffee with a bestie, who really accepts us as we are, will rescue us from crowded loneliness. Keeping a diary , taking notes our to do list will show our way, because keeping notes about the things we always want but postpone every time, will display our real goals. If we cannot keep it regularly, we won’ t be frustrated. Unlike, getting on well with our weaknesses will make us stronger. If we don’ t try to understand the real reasons laying under our weak sides, how can we strengthen them? Beyond this, we must accept that we are only human and cannot be perfect! It shouldn’t be forgotten that as one bad habit is gained by simple routine, also a good one can be adopted by this way. For this reason, we need good routines that will make us better rather than consuming us. The truth is that we are questioning what we are when we really want to be in this life. Some false thoughts, we think never being get out of ,are keeping us from our true selves. If we accept the fact that behaviors create thoughts, and thoughts direct the behaviors, it is the best start by changing what we do everyday. As a result, as long as we are not afraid to question ourselves , we will live this life without missing it. Then, what shall we say? Either we will take the reins of this life or it will throw us here and there!
Laugh, Cry, Get angry, Calm down, Grieve and be happy!
Yes, these are inevitable feelings and reactions for us in this life and they occur with many reasons; open or closed. As with every person, the fact that one of them is more dominant might be thought as signs showing our characters.
Besides this, gaze,smile,posture and the movement of eyebrows are all of energies spread by people who are negatives or positives. Well , can we be devided with a sharp line into positive and negative poles? Aren’t there any situations where spiritual tides lift boundaries? Of course, there are. If we look at life through the Yin and Yang Theory , if we think that black and white are intertwined, likewise the night and day giving birth to each other, then there is no purely good or bad! In fact, we are born with all kinds of humanity elements, yet we spread energies and feelings according to momentory situation. So, our situational acts may not be relevant to our real feelings, and these attitudes can be independent from our personalities.
On the other hand, there are those who do not show their color. I mean, the types of people we cannot predict what they feel or think. It may have been the circumstances that prevent them from being like themselves. Moreover, they may have been ignored or subjected to mental , physical tortures, so they may tend to hide themselves more than anyone else. Like a half-smile which back up people to hide their anxiety and stress. ‘Laughing face while crying blood ‘ may have been said for this reason. On this case, I must ask this crucial question. Did people learn to hide in order to appear strong or were they compelled to do so? If we bact to our childhood memories, we run into many occassions . For instance, we may have been pressured not to cry and to be quiet when scolded as a small child. You know, some usual words not to behave like a child. So, why? We were just kids and had needed crying and showing our feelings clearly. All we needed was to be listened to.
Another aspect is the presence of people who can remain calm and secretive under all circumstanses. It is debatable whether it is their nature or whether it is a skill they acquired later. Just as they fascinate us ,in some cases, they can drive us mad. Such as,while you are waiting for getting info with excitement, your friend listens with a killing calmness. A situation that makes you worried is just an exaggeration for her/him. Most of the time, this contrast is good for the partners, but sometimes it can lead the relationship to an unexpected end. The way up to Heaven written by Roald Dahl may be a meaningful example. In this story, Mrs. Foster is pathologically afraid of being late, and this fear prompts her to ask about the time consistently.She is under the control of her husband, because she is heavily reliant on him to be ready on time. Having dedicated a life of faithful and punctual life to her husband, Mrs. Foster falls victim to attachment, control, and fear. But she is not the only victim of this situation, of course. The author leaves us with an open door as to whether Mr. Foster takes a sadistic pleasure in manipulating his wife’s pathological moods. In the story, She is supposed to be boarding a plane to Paris to visit her daughter and grandchildren, but her husband is getting late to accompany her to the airport. Her husband knows her pathological fear of getting late, but he nonetheless always waits to get ready until the last minute. They leave just a few minutes late for this reason, but the fog is rolling in and the plane is delayed for an indeterminate amount of time. Mrs. Foster gets happy to stay at the airport alone because it means she won’t miss the plane, but night falls and travelers are told to come back in the morning .Mrs. Foster calls her husband. He insists on her staying at the house with him, even if the servants have already left for vacation. The next day, she gets ready half time ago as usual, and Mr. Foster asks her to drop him off at the club on the way to the airport. She reluctantly assents, though she is beginning to suspect about his request of being dropped to the club to keep her from going on her trip. At the last minute, while in the car, Mr. Foster remembers leaving a present for his daughter at home. Mrs. Foster begs him to leave it so she can make it to her flight, but he insists and goes back inside. In the meantime, Mrs. Foster finds the gift wedged in between the seats. She tells the driver to go get her husband, but then realizes it’ll be faster if she does it herself.As she starts to unlock the door, she hears some strange sound and stops. With an determined air and something changed about her, she turns around and tells the driver that they must leave immediately so as not to be late, and thinks that her husband will simply get a taxi to the club. When she returns after six weeks, she finds the place deserted with a bad smell, also she sees the letters thrown under the door are not opened. Then, she calls the elevator repair company and asks them to come fix their elevator: the implication is that her husband has been stuck in the elevator the whole time she was gone, and she left him to die ( unintentionally or deliberately.) Just the satisfaction on her face have the reader to catch the clue!
If I sum up, a half smile we put on our faces against those who know our sensitive side, is like a rescuer. However, every emotion, good or bad, belongs to us, and as long as we try to hide and suppress them, we are slowly killing our true identity. I wish our smiles were not half but complete in every moment of life, and we could be ourselves freely, not for anyone!
His head, which he leaned on the bus window, was rattling thinly .. This was a numbing tremor.. It was not known whether it was the cold or road that hit his forehead, but this time was different from usual. A journey taking him away from the moment in which he was. There was something stucked and frozen in his eyes. He lifted his chin slightly and leaned his head back. Recently, a faint headache had haunted him. It was up to his teeth to relieve throbbing pain in his temples. The teeth that he clenched were tiring his jaw, and the pressure exerted by the jaw muscles left him a pain. He fell asleep when the pain numbed his brain. He was startled by the pain of his eyebrow hitting the window on his left. He wiped the salivation of his mouth with the sleeve of shirt which he tugged up to his palms, then he looked at his watch. Whereas, it had been half an hour since he set out. The feeling of sleep for hours enveloped his body. The headche had eased, and he was like an empty sack.
“ What a work! I am done, but the road is not over!” he mourmured. He thought that someone must have cursed us badly, because it was up to him write the fate of endless roads.Whenever he sets out, a black bird comes and hands on his head. Also,only he can see that bird with red beak. A black, blue-eyed night owl! He even met the bird when he was a child. At first he was afraid of his eyes; moreoever, he held his breath in fear when the bird porched on his head. Since that day, his soul has been awake at nights even if his eyes have slept. Thereby, the night travels have made him a poet who talks to night. In fact, what he went through was neither a poem nor a story. It was unreasonable to him to exaggerate these inner talks. It was the only night bird heard what was going on inside him. Before long, the sound of the mind must have disturbed the red-billed night bird, so it flew over his head . With the flight of the bird, his mind returned to reality. The smell of coffee filled his nose. While a few passengers were drinking their coffee, he realized that he hadn’t drunk his morning tea, and he hadn’t cleared his mind. So, tea and night thoughts had been inevitable needs for him for a long time. The most important of all, he didn’t grasp up to now why the night had been a mystery buddy, but all the he knew was that night was guiding his soul. Especially, his night trips had taken him different worlds from the real one and accelerated the pace of his mind up to this age. His first night journey had started at the age of six , it was the escape from his parents’ usual fights. It was the only way to get rid of fear and anxiety for him. The night bird firstly had come and landed on his head. For the first time he had shared his inner thoughts with him. After that day on, he read to his favorite tales and told the the stories, he had made up, to only him.
When the bus arrived to destination, he had already made up new stories and the night bird had listened to him with great pleasure. . When he got out the bus, the huge peace filled his heart ,and the thought bubbles hanging in his mind burst one by one when the sun touched them. If you wonder about the bird, he vanished by the sun rised!
night and you who know my secrets that no one knows,
esrasekerr 